Life, Unsweetened

10.13.2011

2011-10-13T12:32:00.000-07:00

HAPPINESS IS A DEEP SNATCH

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, 10mg Claritin, 50mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft), 25mg Lamotrigine

WOD:
21-15-9
Deadlift 155/105
Push-Up
Time: 6:33

Breakfast: green monster
Snack: red velvet cookie, fruit
Lunch: spinach and bacon soufflé
Snack: *sigh* two red velvet cookies
Pre-WOD Snack: plantain chips
Dinner: 2 eggs with 1/2 cup marinara sauce
Snack: corn flakes with soymilk and walnuts

PM Supplements/meds: 37mg Doxylamine Succinate, 25mg Trazodone, 25mg benadryl

What's on my mind:
Still puffy ... I suspect PMS, as I am also crabby and horny. Gotta love Mother Nature... I get in The Mood right about the time I've managed to alienate every living being within ten miles.
So..... soufflé isn't that bad, in terms of Paleoness (Paleonicity?). It does have cheese ... and a little flour. I'm sure you could find suitable substitutes.

What's on my iPod:
AC/DC - Girls Got Rhythm

10.11.2010

2011-10-11T19:27:00.001-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, 10mg Claritin, 50mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft), 25mg Lamotrigine

WOD:
4 rounds of
Run 400 meters
21 G2O @33#
For time
25:30

Breakfast: green monster
Snack:
Lunch: turkey sandwich on asiago ciabatta and a shortbread cookie(Panera Bread came to demo their catering for us)
Snack: plantain chips
Dinner: scrambled eggs w pesto
Snack: corn flakes w soymilk
No, I am not being Paleo. I am avoiding a lot of gluten, especially refined wheat flour. Except for today's Panera THING.

PM Supplements/meds: 37mg Doxylamine Succinate, 50mg Trazodone

What's on my mind:
I feel really puffy, although the scale says I haven't gained weight: probably I have replaced some muscle mass with fat. *sigh* Time to stop acting like a pathetic loser.
It's been a couple or three weeks, I know - I've been a total pussy. I was going through some bullshit with my meds - they needed to up my dose of Zoloft due to anxiety and it gave me serious diarrhea.
I had a consult with a psyciatrist who put me on Lamotrigine (used off-label to treat bipolar disorder) and Trazodone (to help me sleep).
Yes, you read right. Bipolar. Not 100% sure about it, and neither is the Dr. but there are definite tendencies and straight antidepressants tend to make the anxiety worse in people with bipolar disorder.
Anyway I'm feeling more stable, happy, and I can relax my sphincter now, which is truly a relief. And I went back to DRG tonight which felt really wonderful.
I'm finally getting a grip on my negativity which had been getting pretty bad.
I was pissed at Marc a couple weekends ago and so I'd been huffily avoiding him online and going out a lot more, doing stuff, and guess what?! Instead of missing him and being all emo and lonely, I had a good time. DUH! The realization that OH, I CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME WITHOUT MY BOYFRIEND (WHY do I consistently need to be hit over the head with this knowledge??? Lame!) made me feel just a whole lot better.
OH and in Big News: I booked my flight today: I'm going to Den Haag for New Years!!! Marc is excited and happy and already planning a big NYE bash.

What's on my iPod:
Rammstein vs Cornholio

09.11.2011 Ten Years After

2011-09-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

AMSupplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, Claritin, 75 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Brunch: ginormous latte
Snack:
Lunch: protein/soymilk shake
Snack:
Dinner: chicken salad
Snack: Gluten-free cinnamon cookie

WOD: 9.11 (Slightly modified from today's CFEB WOD)
For time:
9 Burpees
11 Deadlifts @ 105#
9 Burpees
11 Jumping C2B Pull-Ups
9 Burpees
11 Lunges (each leg)
9 Burpees
11 Push-Ups
9 Burpees
11 Sit-Ups
Time: 19:19

Also hiking up the hill @ Pena Adobe - 4 miles. Lau gave up towards the end but I ran the rest of the way up.

PM Supplements/meds: 37mg Doxylamine Succinate.

What's on my mind:
Feeling neglected by boyfriend. Which mostly means I need to get out and do something more constructive (and rewarding) than waiting, wondering, missing and worrying about him. Though I am kindof afraid that the more I let go, the more distant he will become.
Maybe that isn't a bad thing.

What's on my iPod:
Rammstein - Du Haßt

09.09.2011

2011-09-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, Claritin, 75 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Brunch: coffee, Green Monster
Snack:
Lunch: salad, jerky
Snack: apple, banana
Dinner: tequila lime chicken, broccoli
Friday Nightedness: Maragaritas (2)

WOD:
Shopping for time

PM Supplements/meds: 25mg Doxylamine Succinate.

What's on my mind:
Cranky mood today. Whafuck? No real reason. Things are never as bad as I constantly make them out to be. I am getting so tired of always thinking the worst. HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?
Of course I just needed -as usual- to put things into perspective. Had a talk with The Heidster and felt better. Why, though? Why do I STILL need to be talked down from the ledge? You know ... maybe I need to volunteer at a women's shelter or man the phones at a domestic abuse hotline... to remind me just how truly lucky I am.

Mildly sore from yesterday's WOD.

What's on my iPod:
The Cure - Friday I'm in Love
Thursday I don't care about you, it's Friday I'm in Love

09.08.2011

2011-09-08T20:26:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, Claritin, 75 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Brunch: coffee, Green Monster
Snack:
Lunch: chicken breast, sauteed vegetables, roasted potatoes, salad w mozzarella
Snack: apple, coffee with cream
Pre-WOD: chicken breast, salad
Post-WOD: watermelon

WOD 6:15@DRG:
AMRAP in 20 minutes:
Partner up and switch off:
One partner does Farmer's Walk (50 meter walk carrying a kettlebell in each hand) followed by 5 Push-Ups
While the other partner does A2A (Ass to Ankle) Squats (beginners may squat to a ball, or 2x55# plates)

I squatted to a ball and limited squats to about 50. Hans Florine stopped by to tell us the shade will be professionally assembled very soon.

PM Supplements/meds: 25mg Doxylamine Succinate.

What's on my mind:
Still attempting to talk myself out of Crossfitting each time. Must remember how good it feels - even when I hurt for days afterward. Nothing a little Advil can't handle.
I have not had any grain in 2 or 3 days: there was cake and brownies today and I did not partake, though I did have carby potatoes. The uh .. situation in my lower intestine seems to be resolving itself. I don't know if this is coincidence.

Had fun celebration day at work. These events usually mean a lot of work for me, but today people pitched in and helped. I really do work with some awesome people.
Have to fire caterer. They're perpetually late - that's not good customer service. Plus everything has loads of olive oil. I'm all for the good fats but seriously? Gourmet cooking consists of a lot more than just drenching everything in EVOO, mmkay?

What's on my iPod:
Beastie Boys - Sure Shot
You can't, you won't and you don't stop!

09.06.2011

2011-09-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, Claritin, 75 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Brunch: coffee, Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: none - my guts are a mess again and I was afraid I would let one rip during a G2O/H.
Snack: jerky, peanuts
After WOD: 3 oz almonds, a little slice of watermelon

WOD 6:15@DRG:
Timed Effort
A: Work up to a 1RM Squat in 25 minutes
B: 30 G2O/H 155/105
15 minute limit

PM Supplements/meds: 25mg Doxylamine Succinate, 1mg Ativan. I'ma sleep.

What's on my mind: I was in a pissy mood all day, and when I got to DRG it was hot as fuck but it felt really good to step up, sweat and accomplish something.
I found this kickass hilly hike in the Sonoma Mountains a couple weekends ago, I need to do that again.

What's on my iPod:
Emigrate - My World

09.05.2011 Labor Day

2011-09-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, Claritin, 75 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Brunch: coffee, 2 eggs
Snack: watermelon
Dinner: chicken wrap (grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, ranch)
Snack: egg, papaya

WOD: 1:00 @ home
WOD: 30 each for time
Pushups
Pullups
Situps
Squats
Time: 6:48
Fast and dirty.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: I was sore for three days after Thursday's Squat-O-Rama. And the runs... a month or so ago I had diarrhea for like 3 weeks straight. Probably Zoloft-related, and now that I've upped my dose a little, it's back, along with the gurgling, bloating and cramping. Great.

What's on my iPod:
Florence + The Machine - Heavy In Your Arms
I was a heavy heart to carry but he never let me down
When he had me in his arms my feet never touched the ground

09.01.2011 I'm back

2011-09-02T16:02:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, Claritin, 75 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Breakfast: Green Monster
Snack: Apple
Lunch: chicken patty, broccoli
Snack: baked potato chips
Dinner: post-WOD 4 oz fish with green pepper and onion
Snack: 12 oz watermelon

WOD: 6:15@DRG:
FOR TIME: 3 Rounds
1. Run 400 yards carrying the ball of your choice
2. 21 Squats touching said ball
3. 12 wall-balls
For time * DNF since I decided that was too many squats (21x3 +12x3[wall-balls involve squatting] = 99 squats) for my first time working out in months. I'm glad I held back - I'm QUITE sore today and it will be worse tomorrow.

Ok, it was warm in Concord and I was really nervous about returning to Crossfit. But it was an easy-WOD day, there weren't very many people and everyone was very welcoming and supportive. Even though I was shaking afterwards, it felt great.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: It felt good to be back at Crossfit, and I re-joined the gym so NO MORE EXCUSES.
Scottish games are this weekend: I still think I'd like to train for Heavy Athletics. I should try and talk to some of the heavy athletes.

What's on my iPod:
AC/DC - Back in Black

06.19.2011

2011-06-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven, 50 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Breakfast: large half caf 1% latte, 3 eggs
Snack: Lara Bar
Lunch: Hamburger patty, plaintain chips, vegetables
Snack:
Dinner:
Snack:

WOD: 11:00@DRG:
FOR TIME: Deadlift 2500# (20 reps @ 125#)
Perform the same number of reps as deadlift (20) of the following:
1. Box Jump
2. Russian Kettlebell Swing
3. Burpees
Run 300 meters (or row 375 meters)
My time: 12:33

Ok, it was rather warm in Concord and I was rather daunted by the prospect of returning to Crossfit after my long absence. But they welcomed me back with open arms, of course, and since I can deadlift quite a lot, the number of reps for the rest wasn't that bad.
I still friggen hate burpees, though.

They had a BBQ after and I hung out, had a burger (bunless), some plantain chips, veggies and a hard cider. (Ooo, I bet hard cider is Paleo!)

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Working out felt really good, but I am pretty sure I am going to hate it on hot summer days.
And I did rather well, considering last night's diet debauchery at the Giants game. There was a hot dog of epic proportions, peanuts and cotton candy. It was a really good time, though.

06.15.2011

2011-06-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven, 50 mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft)

Breakfast: half cup coffee
Snack: almonds w blueberries
Lunch: Paleo Chicken soup
Snack:
Dinner: Paleo chicken soup
Snack:

WOD: 4 mile hike @ Pena Adobe

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Saw my psychiatrist (Dr. KM) yesterday. Interesting. She says wait to see about the Zoloft. I don’t think I like it. I’m pretty sure it’s killing off my libido, and I LIKE my libido – I don’t want it to go!
She also says to totally lay off talking to M about MY problems…. give him a break. Which is pretty much the same as “stay out of the shame spiral”. I have been mostly silent about my insecurities: I need to STOP asking him stupid questions because of my stupid insecurities.
I asked her if she thought it would help to talk all this stuff out and she said “With HIM? NO. With ME? Definitely. But no, you need to give him a break or he will react by backing off.” And she is so right.

I really do like her. Talking to her gives me insight and perspective, and I had a little revelation yesterday during our session: I have to take M into account when I make decisions about our relationship; that’s a no-brainer, right?
Well, I have to take him into account all the time when it concerns him - like INCLUDING deciding whether or not to feel anxious, insecure et cetera bout him. In other words: I need to stop and think before I jump to conclusions. Like, before I get all spastic about him not answering a text, remember that he isn’t attached to his phone like I am.
Fucking A… have I always been this self-involved/selfish?

I need a ‘thing’ – like M has Cremer’s. Preferably a social thing that gets me out and about. Not a bar. Maybe a club, a walking group … a gym? *sigh* It’s 22 miles and 30 minutes to the Concord rock gym, and they are starting Crossfit classes there. You really can’t beat $67 a month for Crossfit – and I could get back into climbing. And not that I need to take him into account for everything in my life, but if I did ask M for input, he would tell me to go. As would Dr. KM, as would Ynez … and anyone else who gives a damn about me. Why am I even debating this? (Because I AM LAZY, and I would rather spend money on bullshit than work out)
I need to step up and do this for so many reasons. For me. For M, too.
I need to stop rationalizing NOT doing it. I need to drive down there after work and see the lay of the land/how long it takes to get there.
Oh, and "Hollywood" Hans Florine is the gym manager there. He previously held the Speed Climb World Record for climbing The Nose of Yosemite’s El Capitan in 2:37:05.

What's on my iPod:
Pimsleur Beginning Dutch Lesson 1
Ik spreek een beetje Nederlands

06.12.2011

2011-06-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven

Breakfast: half-caf nonfat latte
Snack:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner: pizza margherita
Snack:

WOD: jumping to conclusions

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Got all sorts of freaking pissed off at boyfriend... he fell asleep when he was supposed to hang with me...AGAIN. Spend a couple hours spitting nails, bitching ... decided to fuck off and have dinner, went to bookstore, took long drive through Carneros, and sat by the Napa River listening to some guy play some badass bluegrass guitar.
Talked to apologetic boyfriend later on. *sigh*
I have an appointment tomorrow with psychiatrist... I think I might start going more frequently, as I am now having issues with anger and jealousy/insecurity and I almost (but not quite, thankfully) entered the shame spiral with boyfriend. He was quite contrite when he logged on, and I had calmed down considerably so, while I did iterate that this sort of thing is cause for concern, I did not freak out or threaten to maim him.

What's on my iPod:
Danny Elfman - The Little Things
Let the headlines wait,
Armies hesitate.
I can deal with fate
But not the little things

06.11.2011

2011-06-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven

Breakfast: half-caf nonfat latte, 2 eggs
Snack:
Lunch: 5 oz grilled steak achiote, 2 c kale
Snack: apple
Dinner:
Snack: watermelon

WOD: Trail run/walk, Tolay Creek watershed

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Nice day, great hike/run. Went to girls game night, that was really fun.

What's on my iPod:
Aerosmith - Sweet Emotion

06.08.2011

2011-06-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven

Breakfast: decaf coffee. 2 eggs, 1/2 c yogurt
Snack: 1/2 c coffee
Lunch: 5 oz tuna in water, 2c broccoli, 2 c lettuce
Snack: apple
Dinner:
Snack: http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

WOD: 3-4 mile hike, Cement Hill.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Work is worky. Feeling okay but had a rough night... neck pain, angst. No real anxiety though.
Oh and put Plants vs Zombies on your phone. .. it's awesomely, totally addictive :)
Going on long-ish uphillish hike - the sun is finally here!
Oh and Ik spreek een beetje Nederlands!

What's on my iPod:
Albinono - Adagio for in G minor - Herbert von Karajan, Berliner Philharmonic

06.07.2011

2011-06-07T09:49:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven

Breakfast: decaf coffee. Green monster.
Snack: 1/2 c coffee
Lunch: 5 oz tuna in water, 2c broccoli, 2 c lettuce
Snack: apple
Dinner: Pho Ga w no noodles, hard boiled egg
Snack: 1/2 c yogurt w almond butter

WOD:

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Feeling better on less caffeine. I consider this a huge bummer; I LOVE coffee... I'm going to have to find some really good ... decaf.

What's on my iPod:
Tales From the Vienna Woods - André Rieu and the Johann Strauss Orchestra

06.06.2011

2011-06-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven

Breakfast: decaf coffee. 3 oz almonds w blueberries, 2 oz jerky
Snack: 1/2 c coffee
Lunch: 5 0z tuna in water, 1 c tomatoes, 1 c broccoli
Snack: baked potato chips
Dinner: Green Monster smoothie, 1/2 c greek yogurt, 1 Tbsp almond butter

WOD: Hike 3 miles (hilly), shop for Crocs

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Feeling pretty calm. No weird breathing so far. Did not get out of bed until 7pm yesterday due to severe neck pain (and sheer laziness)- I read in bed all day. It was pretty awesome, actually.
Oh, and I have my period. ayfkm? I had it like 3 weeks ago. This helps explain my crankiness and breakouts last week.
I'M 49 - CAN I PLEASE STOP GETTING PIMPLES?

What's on my iPod:
Arvo Pärt - Spiegel im Spiegel in F major
Spiegel im Spiegel means, literally "mirrors in the mirror", referring to the infinity of images produced by parallel plane mirrors: in this piece, the triads are repeated with small variations ... as if reflected back and forth.

06.03.2011 Decaf?

2011-06-03T13:13:00.001-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe, Estroven

Breakfast: coffee. Green Monster
Snack: eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit
Lunch: egg salad sandwich, fruit smoothie
Snack:
Dinner:

WOD: Walk 1 mile

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Some jerkwad (my neighbor, presumably) tore out my yucca tree!! And made a huge mess of my landscaping, which they had damned well better clean up. I wouldn't have minded so much but they didn't even friggen ask me. Who does that?

Day three without Prozac NOT GOOD. Felt short of breath and mildly panicky all morning. Plus I'm worrying/obsessing way too much.
I'm switching to decaf and picking up Zoloft after work; this is ridiculous. I need more good food, sunshine, exercise, and time with my friends.
I need another European vacay with the boyfriend...

What's on my iPod:
The Cars - Just What I Needed
I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
'cause when you're standin' oh so near
I kinda lose my mind ...

06.02.2011

2011-06-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Not taking Prozac for a couple days to see...

Breakfast: 1/2 cup coffee...trying to cut down. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna in water, 2 c broccoli
Snack: cookie
Dinner: meat cookies, watermelon

WOD: Walk 1 mile

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
No Prozac Day II: I feel much better. No odd breathing episodes today. No stress - even though I was hit with a sudden, huge and urgent project. Interesting.

What's on my iPod:
Green Day - 21 Guns
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I ...

06.01.2011

2011-06-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: jerky
Lunch: mozzarella, tomato, basil salad
Snack: banana walnut bread
Dinner: Oyster stew light(1% milk, oysters, salt & pepper)

WOD: walk/run 1 mile

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
Ok, much better mood today: I dunno what the hell was wrong yesterday, other than I was just pissy. I actually felt better after I decided that I was just plain having a shit day and that it happens sometimes. I shrugged, had some wine, watched Margaret Cho, talked to the boyfriend and went to bed.
So - emailed my doctor and they want to switch me to Zoloft because it's more effective for anxiety and I'm anxious .. Not sure how I feel about this; apparently it decreases libido in like 40% of women. I do not want my libido decreased. At this point it doesn't matter but someday I hope to actually live in sin with my boyfriend. *sigh* I will try it, I s'pose.

What's on my iPod:
Emigrate - My World

05.31.2011

2011-05-31T13:52:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack:
Lunch: 5 oz tuna in water, 2 c broccoli, 1 c grape tomatoes
Snack: 3 oz almonds w dried blueberries
Dinner: Meat cookie, lettuce, onion, cheese

WOD: walk .5 mile

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
I'm in a really shit mood, I'm breaking out, retaining water, and unless I'm wrong, this isn't PMS week.
I do not like feeling disrespected by someone I care about; it instantly makes me want to not care about them. But because I do care, it's twisting me up. Not cool.

What's on my iPod:
Skipknot - Spit It Out
Just another dumb punk chomping at this tit.

05.24.2011

2011-05-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna in water, 2 c broccoli/cauliflower/carrot
Snack: 3 oz almonds w dried blueberries
Dinner: french roll, smoothie

WOD: 4 mile walk/run, Peña Adobe (hilly!)

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind:
I've dropped most of the vacation weight but still being far too lazy and eating too much junk amidst the good (Paleo) stuff. I did go run/walk over the weekend out at Tolay Creek and it felt great. I'm going today, up the hill at Peña Adobe.

I miss M so much. We talk a lot and I see him on Skype and I love that, but I want to kiss him, hold him ET CETERA...
It's such irony that I -finally- found someone who is my equal, who thinks I'm awesomely weird and weirdly awesome, who by all appearances respects me, values me, and loves me to tiny little Carparkie bits ... and he lives thousands of miles away.
Thankfully my insecurity bullshit of a couple weeks ago has stopped, I'm no longer trying to drive myself insane and I managed to not mention any it to M, which is good; he does NOT need to deal with my shit, and I don't need to enter that shame spiral (thank you, Y - for pointing that out). My psychiatrist doesn't want to see me until next month, but I will be telling her about that crap.
He's coming over sometime in 2012, I'm totally thinking about going over there later this year, and I'm learning Dutch.

What's on my iPod:
Green Day - Are We The Waiting

05.09.2011

2011-05-09T10:58:00.001-07:00

Weight 177#
Not too bad: much of my vacation weight is disappearing now that cheese, wine, and bread are off the menu.
I need to get back into running, possibly Crossfit Solano ... but for now, I need to ease back into running.

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AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Apple Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna in water, 2 c broccoli/cauliflower/carrot
Snack:
Dinner:

WOD: walk/run

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Ok, I knew there'd be some fallout, some turmoil after my trip... if we got along, that it would be hard to leave. That's normal but it's getting out of hand. My old demons Insecurity and Suspicion are coming after me and it's really freaking me out. I need to talk to someone objective about this: thankfully I have an appointment with my psych tomorrow.

What's on my iPod: Rammstein - Sehnsucht
Sehnsucht ist so grausam (Longing is so cruel)

05.05.2011

2011-05-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 10 oz BBQ ribs, 1/2 c greens, 1/2 c green beans
Snack: Green tea w honey
Dinner:

WOD:

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: I miss him. A LOT. It's so damn hard not knowing when I will see him again. It's weirdly disconcerting being so madly in love and over-the-moon happy but still feeling this alone.
Things went really well with us in Europe. We had a couple stupid fights and one night of utter silence but - well it's not going to be all hearts and unicorns ever, is it? And we obviously worked it out. 99% of the time it was flat-out fantastic. Seriously, we are good together. He GETS me; he so totally gets me. And he's so warm and fun, easy to be with, sweet and sexy. And the way he looks at me...
I am so crazy about him.

I also gained 8 pounds in Europe, which is a lot considering we were walking around quite a bit. But I did not diet in any way whatsoever. So, lots of non-Paleo bread, pain au chocolat and OH... the cheese. YUM!

What's on my iPod: Aerosmith - Don't Wanna Miss a Thing
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming ...

04.16.2011 - Den Haag Edition

2011-04-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Have lost 5 pounds since I got here: must be all the healthy living and abstinence (YEAH RIGHT)

WOD: Walking around The Netherlands, running the beach at Scheveningen

What's on my mind: Having fun, seeing the sights with my very lovely boyfriend.
Probably wont post much here during this trip. Not being particularly Paleo: beer and whiskey a factor.
What's on my iPod: Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA

07.11.2011

2011-04-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 4 oz tuna, 2 c greens, 2 c broccoli
Snack:
Dinner:

WOD:
Don't know yet.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Getting insanely excited - I can't believe my trip is only five days away - I FINALLY GET TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND!
Freaking out a little, though - too much I have to do at work, too much I want to do at home. Luckily I am PMS-ish and therefore pretty manic. I went home last night and sanded and painted the bathroom.
So I will get it all done so I can get out of the country, get out of my head and get away from it all!

What's on my iPod: Finley Quaye - Roll The Dice
Nothing can compare ...to when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me.

. . .

2011-04-06T16:09:00.001-07:00

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04.06.2011

2011-04-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 3 oz chicharrones, 6 oz pineapple
Snack: Green tea w honey
Dinner: Paleo chicken soup

WOD: walk/run 2 miles.
Piriformis still sore.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: I leave in six days and I can't WAIT to hug and kiss Marc.
AIIIIIEEEE!

The ex Brit's new girly told me he "really wants to move to San Francisco". I was already wondering why she is hanging around me. Why the hell does she need to tell me this shit?
Am I too nice to tell both of them to go away and leave me alone?

What's on my iPod: Mötley Crüe - Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)

04.04.2011

2011-04-04T11:44:00.001-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: small square lemon cake, no icing
Lunch: 4 oz tuna in water, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack:
Dinner:

WOD: walk/run 2 miles.
Piriformis has been pretty hurty lately. Went on long hike in Muir Woods yesterday. Beautiful weather, omg. Had fish n chips for dinner - took all breading off fish, had goat cheese walnut salad instead of chips.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Travel! I leave in 8 days. I'm so so excited to be seeing Marc, and going to Amsterdam, Germany, France... I'm nervous, too - I mean... if this goes well, decisions will have to be made at some point.
But - we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I am focusing on relaxing and having a good time with my boyfriend. And he is pretty wonderful - sometimes more wonderful than I give him credit for.
It bothers me - a lot - that I still find myself doubting. I'm still mentally preparing for him to let me down ... which he is NOT doing. So what the fuck is wrong with me? Even if it's only in my mind - why do I sell this man short? Part of it is the distance. Part of it is my past. Part of it is the fact that I have an anxiety disorder. Part of it is the fact that I know he deserves better. None of which are his fault.
And what I need is to BE that better person. For me. Because he's not the only one who deserves my best.

What's on my iPod: The Rasmus - In The Shadows

3.24.2011

2011-03-24T15:41:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack:
Lunch: 2 pork ribs, 1 c greens w smoked turkey, sm corn muffin
Snack: Hummingbird cake (I know, but DAYUM it is good. Carrot cake but w bananas & pineapple added)
Dinner: 1 pork rib, 1 c greens

WOD:

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I need sleep. One more day of this later-night business (stupid DST time change).

What's on my iPod: Ludovico Einaudi - Moto Perpetuo

03.23.2011

2011-03-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack: orange
Dinner:

WOD: Walk/Run 2 miles .. must remember to stretch. Woke up at about 4:00 this morning with a cat on my head and very painful cramp in piriformis.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: My boyfriend is seriously adorable, wonderful, sweet and funny. Not even 3 weeks until I can adore him in person.
Holy BALLS I need to clean out the spare room....

Had appointment w Psychiatrist today - really interesting and good - I like her. She told me the whole fight-or-flight anxiety thing is completely normal in survivors of abuse. Funny, I never really classified myself as that, though I suppose I am. Good to know that it's normal. And she said with time in a good relationship, that my body will catch up with my brain and realize that those warm fuzzy love feelings don't still mean I'll end up hurt.

She encouraged me to keep running ('it'll help satisfy that fight-or-flight response thing') and said I'm already doing many of the right things (and therefore have been feeling better) but that yeah - the combination of past shit and hormonal upheaval means that a bunch of weird shit is bubbling to the surface and I should probably deal with it. So she wants to talk to me after my trip. And she's giving me more Ativan to get me through the flying.

What's on my iPod: Foreigner - Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor Doctor)

03.21.2011

2011-03-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

Weight: 180 and holding :(
I have got to stop cheating on my diet
AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. lowfat cottage cheese, apple
Snack: red velvet cupcake (I KNOW. I told someone the other day that's why I am running ... because I'm, being chased by cupcakes)
Lunch: 1 c greens w smoked turkey, 6 oz chicken w 1oz hot BBQ sauce
Snack: 1/2 c greens w smoked turkey
Dinner: 1 c broccoli
Snack: 1/2 green w smoked turkey

WOD: Run 4 miles after work.. muahaa I made it all the way to Abernathy Rd. Windy and cold. New (smaller!) sports bra did well, but must remember to bring fleece vest: damn near froze my nips off.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Still struggling with anxiety, depression. It's a vicious cycle: I want so badly to be nice to myself, and when I'm not, I get even more down on myself. I've been inside my head too much lately and I need to get OUT. I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own feelings sometimes and it's so FRUSTRATING.
I have an appointment with a psych this week. Hopefully she'll be helpful: I think talking will help. And possibly adjusting/switching meds.
In good news: just over three weeks until vacation time! Exciting - and a little scary. I'm headed to Europe, but more than that...this trip could set some things in motion. Some major, life-changing things.
Plus I feel like I'm struggling a little right now and I do NOT want to bring any of that shit with me.
Note to self: pack only what you need to take with you and LEAVE THAT EXCESS BAGGAGE BEHIND!
Seriously - my only concern on this vacation should to relax, have fun, and enjoy that man and enjoy Europe. I'll deal with the rest of it LATER; either with him or without him. I suspect with him, mind you. I know I've been a bad judge in the past but this man is different.

And just now I came to a realization: Despite all proof to the contrary, I'm scared to death he isn't different and that (just like always) he'll screw me over, break my heart and make me hate myself. So there's that ....
The Prosecution will argue that the Defendant is a man, and therefore leading the witness down That Same Old Road.
The Defense argues that the Defendant, being from another continent, does not know the Road and therefore is incapable of leading the witness down That Same Old Road.

All kidding aside; seriously. I need to stop lumping him in with ANYONE else. He is not anyone else, there is no evidence of him being anything but a nice, supportive, decent and (somewhat) sane and, as Y says "A grown-ass MAN" who, for whatever reason, loves me. I am being extremely unfair both to him and to myself. We both deserve better.

What's on my iPod: Faith No More - Last Cup of Sorrow

So take a deeper breath and swallow your sorrow... tomorrow
Raise the cup and let's propose a toast
To the thing that hurts you most
It's your last cup of sorrow
What can you say?
Finish it today
It's your last cup of sorrow

03.17.2011

2011-03-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: plantain chips
Lunch: teriyaki chicken, salad greens
Snack: orange
Dinner: cabbage, corned beef

WOD: Napping for time. Seriously, I am exhausted today. I feel achy, my joints feel creaky and gross. I wonder if I'm coming down with something.... I feel 100 years old. I'ma go home, reheat some corned beef and cabbage (chef bf suggested the cabbage recipe - cooked in sweet German mosel wine ... yum!)

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: I love him. I can't wait to see him.

What's on my iPod: Billy Idol - Blue Highway

03.16.2011

2011-03-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: 2 girl scout thin mint cookies
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:

WOD:

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Faith and sleep and my lack of either one. I woke up at 5:30 this morning, wide-eyed as a marigold. Thrashed around in bed for a while, got up, took shower.

What's on my iPod: Rammstein - Adios

03.15.2011

2011-03-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: 4 crackers
Lunch: black forest ham, small bit of cheese, on half a roll; 1 apple
Snack: small nonfat latte
Dinner: 1 cup turkey chili

WOD: shop til ya drop

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Who am I? (Am I someone who is having an existential crisis?)
I think I am thinking too much.
Four weeks until my trip. Four weeks! I'm so excited... and more than a little nervous. Must remember to Relax. Breathe. Be.

What's on my iPod: Abba: Chiquitita

03.14.2011

2011-03-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

Ate very well all weekend, experimented with Paleo Pancakes. Higher ratio of eggs to coconut flour helps. Did not WOD except for yardwork, shopping.

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: 1 c broccoli
Lunch: 5 oz sardines in water, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack: 7 crackers
Dinner: 1 cup turkey chili, 1 apple

WOD: run 4 miles: this is the furthest I've been down Suisun Valley Parkway - I made it to the New Holland tractor dealer - I lol'd.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine, .5mg Ativan (brain won't stop)

What's on my mind: I need to work on having faith and belief in myself.

What's on my iPod: The Knife - Heartbeats

03.11.2011

2011-03-11T14:26:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster w Kale, 2 Girl Scout cookies. These would be Paleo if they were made WITH REAL GIRL SCOUTS.
Snack: Apple
Lunch: 5 oz sardines in water, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens; fruit juice
Snack: 1 c broccoli, 2 cookies
Dinner:

WOD: I might nap for time. I might run. Daylight savings time starts this weekend, so starting next week, walk/runs after work can be longer stronger better faster more muahhhhhh!

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Tsunami! Seriously. I was all snuggled in bed, no doubt dreaming Pervy dreams, when at 4 motherfucking:30 am, there was an announcement via loudspeaker all over my neighborhood of a "tsunami warning for this area: please tune in to your local television or radio for more information"
I jumped out of bed, turned on TV and it turned out to be nothing. But of course I was freaked out. WTF?
At least I was asleep: happily, too. <3

What's on my iPod: Metallica - Enter Sandman

03.10.2011

2011-03-10T09:36:00.001-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster w Kale
Snack: Lara Bar
Lunch: Chicken salsa soup
Snack: Pomegranate juice (wish it was a Pomtini!); crackers. Ate grain, felt funky. Duh.
Dinner: chicken breast, apple

WOD:

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Tired. So much for relaxing: I took an Ativan last night just to sleep: feeling all agitated and weird again. Woke up about 5am, couldn't get back to sleep.
I dunno, sometimes if feels like my nerves are on fire. Restless.

What's on my iPod: GreenDay - Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

03.09.2011 FRANKIE SAY RELAX

2011-03-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster w Kale
Snack:
Lunch: 4 oz sardines in hot sauce, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack: 1 apple, 1 orange
Dinner: 4 oz grilled chicken, apple

WOD: Run 2.5 miles, Suisun Valley Parkway
this was nice - and I'm finding a comfortable stride that isn't the slow plodding I used to do. Interesting!

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Deep breath. Reboot. Ahhhhhhh ...
And boyfriend give me a nice boost today, just by being his funny, romantic self. And by encouraging me to run.
I'm feeling much happier and in control these days.

What's on my iPod: Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax

03.08.2011 Mardi Gras

2011-03-08T16:03:00.000-08:00

Laissez le bon temps roulet - Let the good times roll!

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster w Kale
Snack:
Lunch: Today's Mardi Gras shenanigans included a Saturnalian feast of salad, shrimp creole, red beans & rice, fried chicken, biscuits, and King Cake. I will apologize profusely to my body over the next few hours ... and drink a lot of water.
Snack: Please. I couldn't possibly stuff another bite of anything down my throat.
Dinner: Probably water and an apple. Seriously - it's 4pm and I don't feel like I will be able to eat again. Ever. Which is fine. If I were religious, I would confess all my sins and give something up for Lent.

WOD: Dentist @5:30. Getting an Invisalign retainer. Hike down hill to Glen Cove waterfront afterwards.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: A nap would be nice. I'm stuffed and bloated. Yeesh! When am I going to get it through my head that eating crap makes me feel like crap?

And please can I just go to bed early and sleep through the night.... I woke up at 0:dark:30 in the morning, couldn't go back to sleep - mind racing - broke down and took an Ativan, slept like a rock ... for the two hours before I had to get up.

03.07.2011

2011-03-07T11:46:00.001-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster w Kale (almond milk, banana, protein powder, kale, spinach, almond butter)
Snack: apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack: 1/2 c chex mix. I dunno wtf is wrong with me: I'm craving salt.
Dinner: Shrimp Creole*

WOD:

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

*Shrimp Creole
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/2 cup diced green bell peppers
• 1/2 cup diced onions
• 1/2 cup diced celery
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 (14-ounces) can tomatoes
• 1 (8-ounce) can tomato sauce
• 1 tablespoon hot sauce
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon white sugar
• Salt and pepper
• 1 1/2 pounds peeled and deveined shrimp
• Green onions, for garnish

What's on my mind: Work.
What's on my iPod: Queen Ida and her Bon Temps Zydeco Band - Capitaine Gumbo

03.06.2011

2011-03-07T11:40:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Fruit smoothie.
Snack:
Lunch: Chicken w sesame wasabi, sauteed kale
Snack:
Dinner: chicken, orange, grapefruit
Snack: wine

WOD: Yardwork; 1 hour pulling weeds and adding to the compost bin. I kinda want to built a planter box and grow my own veggies!

What's on my mind: Not a whole lot, actually. Happy, relaxed and chill.
What's on my iPod: UB40 - Red Red Wine

03.05.2011

2011-03-05T22:28:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee.
Snack:
Lunch: turkey kielbasa
Snack: banana
Dinner: turkey kielbasa, cauliflower, marinara sauce
Snack: fat-free, sugar-free chocolate pudding made w almond milk

WOD: Napping for time. I have a headache. Too much wine, up too late last night/this morning. Woke up in my clothes.
I had a great time, though. Boyfriend drunk before noon, muah

What's on my mind: sleep

What's on my iPod: AC/DC - Have a Drink On Me

03.04.2011

2011-03-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster
Snack: apple
Lunch: 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack: 1 grapefruit
Dinner: thin crust cheese, spinach & artichoke heart pizza (oh so good), chicken salad (CPK)
Late-night Snack: buckets of wine

WOD: Run/walk 2 miles at lunch. Shopped till we dropped after work.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Grouchy today - not enough sleep, too many negative thoughts. I need to get serious about getting rid of the negative shit.
I need to get serious about exercise AGAIN. I was doing so well - the past three days I've just felt so lazy, shitty, headachy and way too freaking warm... I need to not let that stop me: it felt great to be so motivated.
Update: ran/walked on my lunch. Felt like shit. Wheezy. Feel less negative afterwards, though.
Oh surprise, surprise, we have a direct correlation between eating grain and feeling like shit. GEE, THAT'S SHOCKING. Yes ok. I won't beat myself up too much. I will get back on the freakin' wagon.

What's on my iPod: Iron Maiden - Out of the Shadows

02.03.2011

2011-03-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. black forest ham & egg sando on english muffin
Snack: apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens, 1 banana, 1 granola bar
Snack: chex mix. FAIL. Craving salt. wtf.
Dinner: 6 oz steak (I had a craving) 2 c celery
Snack: 1 orange

WOD: nothing. lazy.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: I gotta get back on the horse! I've not run the last 2 days because of pain in butt (literally: piriformis again) and sheer laziness. Paleo failing a bit lately too, so weight holding at 180#.
Other than that, things going smoothly...work very busy but doable, boyfriend very doable but busy. It's all good.
Straightened my own hair with success last night, it's very cool!
Have sizes gone all wonky? I bought size medium DKNY Leggings for trip... medium! It's craziness.

What's on my iPod: The Skids - The Saints Are Coming

03.02.2011

2011-03-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster.
Snack: Fruit/nut Kind Bar
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c greens, 2 c broccoli
Snack: apple, donut. FAIL.
Dinner: orange, 1 egg
Midnight Snack: turkey patty. I couldn't sleep, felt hungry.

WOD: straightening my hair!

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Coffee. Work.

What's on my iPod: Silly Wizards - The Ramblin' Rover

03.01.2011

2011-03-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster.
Snack: Apple
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 2 c greens
Snack: 1 orange, 1 fun size dark chocolate
Dinner: 3 oz chicken, 3 c greens
Snack:

WOD: I don't know. Knees are kinda hurty. I might walk ... I also might shop for cute underwear.
Went shopping. Bought cute DKNY outfit.

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: castles in Europe ... I leave six weeks from today!

I didn't get enough sleep last night. Woke up in tropical locale about 4:00am. Unfortunately there wasn't a beach or an umbrella-adorned drink to be seen, just the Noorse boskat.

What's on my iPod: GreenDay - Are We The Waiting/St. Jimmy

02.28.2011

2011-03-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. Green Monster.
Snack: none
Lunch: carnitas, vegetables, corn tortilla (Paleo Fail)
Snack: apple
Dinner: chicken breast, cabbage
Snack: angst

WOD: run/walk, 2.5 miles, Suisun Valley Parkway

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Crazy, long, busy Monday at work.

What's on my iPod: Boomtown Rats - (Tell Me Why) I Don't Like Mondays

02.27.2011

2011-02-27T21:57:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee. water
Snack: none
Lunch: none
Snack:none
Dinner: 6 oz ribeye, mushrooms sauteed in ghee
Snack: Key lime pie nonfat yogurt

WOD: run/walk, 2 miles

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Sunshine!
Intermittent fasting today. I held out as long as I could from eating and I walked/ran harder than I had planned. Kinda cool. Now I'm half drunk and chatting up cute boyfriend. I can't wait to go over there!!

What's on my iPod: Metallica - Aint My Bitch

02.25.2011 TGIF

2011-02-25T15:01:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Coffee, non-protein Green Monster (I ran outta powder)
Snack: 1 oz cheese, 1 apple
Lunch: 2 oz rice, 2 c broccoli, 1 c greens
Snack: 1 orange
Dinner: Paleo soup, red wine

WOD: run/walk, 1 mile

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Finished the newsletter mailing - FINALLY!
Feeling really good, happy and relaxed today - FINALLY!
Also feeling more motivated lately than I've felt pretty much EVER. Sometimes I wonder if it's the anxiety/nerves thing but I just feel like running. In fact, it's afternoon break, I think I am gonna put my kicks on and scoot around the block.
*checking bra* Yep, I am good to go (It takes a very special bra to support these babies during a run).
Just a little over six weeks until my vacay - NOT that I'm excited or anything!
I need to get my ass in gear, though - I'm doing a very thorough spring-cleaning before I go.

What's on my iPod: GreenDay - We Are The Waiting

02.24.2011

2011-02-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Genmai-cha green tea, Green Monster
Snack: fruit/nut Kind bar
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 1 c greens
Snack: 1 c greens, 1 apple, 1 c Genmai-cha green tea
Dinner: Paleo soup, celery and carrots

WOD: run

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: Work

Had .5Mg1 Ativan and a glass of wine after dinner. Felt relaxed for the first time in what seems like a long time. Slept like a baby.

What's on my iPod: Nickelback - Learn The Hard Way

02.23.2011 ... Bad Girl Walkin'

2011-02-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

Check it: weight 180#
2 weeks ago it was 187 - go me!

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: coffee, Green Monster
Snack: fruit/nut Kind bar
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 1 c greens
Snack: 1 c greens, 1 apple, 1 c Genmai-cha green tea
Dinner:

WOD: run run run

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

Had long talk with Y last night. Clarified things (of course). I'm making way too big a deal about boyfriend and I need to make a big deal about me.
Because it really is all about me me ME. There's such simple joy in this!
And I'm pretty sure I feel my badass Bad Girl self wanting to punch her way out of this bullshit and tell Missy McNegative to KISS MY FUCKING ASS.

I need to start looking into alternative therapies for the hormonal shenanigans. Bought something called Estroven with black cohosh and soy isoflavones. Need muscular masseuse named Magnus.

What's on my mind: My new mantra... "No one can help you but you"

What's on my iPod: Pink - You and Ur Hand
You know who you are... high fivin, talking shit,
but you're going home alone ... arentcha?

02.22.2011

2011-02-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: coffee, Green Monster
Snack: berry zinger tea (this is satisfyingly yummy even plain!)
Lunch: chicken, broccoli, greens
Snack: apple
Dinner: I kinda forgot to eat dinner after run/walking in the dark up Sac Street into the cemetery and then up the overpass. I ran a lot of it. It was cold.

WOD: Dentist appointment after work - I'm getting a retainer :/
7pm @ CDC:
Run 3 miles

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine.

What's on my mind: cutting back the caffeine: I seem to feel much worse if I drink more than a cup - like, a jittery anxious mess.
I won't completely give up coffee but the stuff at work is ridiculously strong and highly caffeinated. I should get another french press and go with half-caff cold-brew.
Also I have mad cramps: no wonder last week was such a bummer bitch: it was PMS Week. This mystery schedule is truly effed up. It's one thing to be bitchy... now I'm unpredictably bitchy. Fan-freakin-tastic.

What's on my iPod: Florence + the Machine - Cosmic Love
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

It occurs to me that as confused as I am about things, boyfriend is probably equally confused.
Also, what I'm confused about is small compared to what I am sure of.

Also I need to stop listening to this bullshit emo music.. seriously?
Florence + the Machine? whatEVAR

02.21.2011

2011-02-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: coffee, cold pizza
Snack: orange
Lunch:
Snack: Kind fruit/nut bar
Dinner: Chicken enchilada, rice, salad

WOD: 2 miles Walk/Run @ Limantour Beach, Point Reyes

PM Supplements/meds: 50mg diphenhydramine. Keeping it simple seems to work best.

What's on my mind: Change and confusion. I kindof want to talk to my bf about this. But I don't want to seem like I'm being critical. I'm not: I realize things change and I believe we are still Ok. But things have changed: he used to be online to talk to me a lot more. He used to be a lot more available and verbally affectionate. I remember he used to say "I love you more!" and at the time, I thought it might be true: he was always losing sleep to stay up/get up early and talk to me. But that wasn't working so we agreed to cut back. Now, though - it feels like he's pulling further back and talking to me is no longer a priority for him. It confuses me. He says everything is "fine" and things haven't changed but ... *I* feel like they have and I kinda feel like my opinion isn't being taken seriously.
Then again: I have also changed. I used to be waaaaay less needy, before all this hormonal upheaval started. I'm not sure I'd want to make talking to me a priority either, when it's likely that at some point I'm going to either cry or complain (this is less true lately - thankfully).
I want to be able to talk with him about this without me getting upset and without him saying "I don't know."
But I also question why this particular conversation is so important: I know he loves me. I truly know this - because for one thing, even at my worst he never once acted like he wanted out. His attitude has been "We'll get through this" and that's ... you know ... huge. He knows I'm a mess, and he's sticking around. He's either a really good man, completely fucking crazy - or both.
And really? What more could I want?

What's on my iPod: Green Day - Pop Rocks and Coke
i will dare
keep in mind
i'll be there for you

02.20.2011

2011-02-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: coffee, 2 eggs, 2 C spinach
Snack:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:

WOD: Bike 9 miles

PM Supplements/meds: 25-50mg diphenhydramine, magnesium citrate (200mg), 5-HTP (50mg)

What's on my mind: Would it kill boyfriend to reply to a damn text once in a while?
What's on my iPod: Gary Jules - Mad World

02.19.2011

2011-02-19T13:22:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: coffee, 2 eggs
Snack: fruit/nut Kind Bar
Lunch: chicken, broccoli
Snack: orange
Dinner: eggs, steak, hash browns, english muffin

WOD: Cold/wet run/walk 3 miles.

PM Supplements/meds: 25-50mg diphenhydramine, magnesium citrate (200mg), 5-HTP (50mg)

Slept long and hard last night after talking to M until 10pm and drinking much wine. All of which felt really good: I had a rough week. Work is very busy, and things felt *off* all week between M and I - to me, anyway.
So it was extra nice to relax and just chill with him.

02.18.2011

2011-02-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

02.17.2011

2011-02-17T20:37:00.000-08:00

02.16.2011

2011-02-16T09:35:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: Green Monster smoothie
Snack: fruit/nut Kind Bar
Lunch: 4 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 1 apple, 1 orange
Snack: 1 handful peanut M&Ms
Dinner: ground beef patty, lettuce, tomato, onion

WOD: bowling, 3 hours

PM Supplements/meds: 25-50mg diphenhydramine, magnesium citrate (200mg), 5-HTP (50mg)

So a friend of mine online who likes to share music and bands turned me on to this Pink song/video and it made me just lose my shit and cry like a banshee. It's about a girl who grows up feeling "mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood" and how her parents, other kids, everyone made her feel like she wasn't good enough because she wasn't perfect. And I was never perfect growing up. Not so much to other kids, but my father. I have a younger sister, and she harbors a lot of ill will towards our father because growing up he was well ... to say he was kindof a jerk sometimes is an understatement. Not all the time but sometimes he'd flip out if you didn't do things his way, get mad and shut me down (like, he'd leave the room when I came in - can you imagine what that does to a child?), and he criticized me far more than he ever did my sister. He also told me I was lazy and hit me in the face once, and tried to have me arrested (he thought he found marijuana in my room - it was tea). We were supposed to have long hair and dress like girls - when the fashion at the time was bell-bottom blue jeans (it was the Seventies after all) so when I dressed like all the other kids, my father said I looked "like a slob".

There were a lot of good things about my childhood: my parents took us camping every summer. I have awesome memories of that, and they never acted like there was anything we couldn't do just because we were girls.
In my adult life I've tried hard to focus on the good and think the best of my parents (I was - and still am - angry with my Mother sometimes for putting up with his crazy shit).
But I wonder ... has it been at the expense of my own self-worth? I think I probably turned the hate inward and started myself down the road to insecurity. But I probably need to file that under "they know not what they do" and let it go.

Anyway this video triggered a whole lot of shit I hadn't thought about in ages.
But the girl in the video grows up, triumphs over her past and becomes an artist, and has her own daughter, of whom she sings, at the end of the video "Pretty, pretty please/If you ever, ever feel/Like you're nothing/You're fucking perfect to me".
I will try and learn from my parents' mistakes, and make sure my loved ones know I think they're perfect ... just the way they are.

What's on my mind: Welcome to my silly life
What's on my iPod: Pink - Fucking Perfect

02.15.2011

2011-02-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

02.14.2011

2011-02-14T18:47:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase, Microgestin Fe

Breakfast: coffee, apple
Snack: 2 cookies. Fuck Valentine's Day.
Lunch: 4 oz tuna, 2 c greens, 2 c broccoli
Snack: Apple
Dinner: 1 chicken thigh, shrooms & onion, 1 artichoke

PM Supplements/meds: 25-50mg diphenhydramine, magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

WOD: run 3 miles - in the drizzle. Feels good.

02.13.2011

2011-02-14T18:46:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase; Microgestin Fe*

Breakfast: coffee w coconut milk
Lunch: chicken breast, broccoli
Snack: Apple, orange
Dinner: coq au vin (1 chicken thigh, onion, mushrooms cooked in red wine)

PM Supplements/meds: 25-50mg diphenhydramine, magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

WOD: run/walk, 5 miles. I got a sunburn!

*My Gyno put me on birth control pills to help control the hot flashes and anxiety of perimenopause. Something better start working: I'm kindof stressed.

02.12.2011

2011-02-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, time to get back on the horse. Or the bike. Something. I'm mentally unstable. Not cool.

AM Supplements/meds: 10mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Claritin, Flonase

Breakfast: coffee, Green Monster
Lunch: Paleo soup
Snack: Apple, orange
Dinner: 1 chicken thigh, 2 c broccoli

PM Supplements/meds: 25-50mg diphenhydramine, magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

WOD: bikeride, 8 miles, easy

12.21.2010

2010-12-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Flonase

WOD: 5:45 @ CDC
Run .5 mile follwed by 5 Rounds:
7 pullups (sorta half-jumping .. getting better!)
7 pushups
7 deadlifts @ 75#

Hrm, this wasn't that hard.

Breakfast: coffee, Larabar
Lunch: Cobb Salad
Snack: 2 oz cheese, whole wheat crackers (Paleo Fail)
Dinner: apples?

Oh, cheese, how I have missed you. *sigh* Yeah, we I had a little fling this afternoon, cheese and I. I realize cheese is all wrong for me but ... I couldn't resist.
In real news, I'm going to The Netherlands this spring and visit my wonderful boyfriend (squeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I'm hoping cheese will not follow me there, although I believe he has family in Gouda.
Still no sign of my period, PMS symptoms have subsided somewhat, although ... well, there was an incident last weekend: I got real insecure and real drunk. Not good. Not good at all. Just for future reference: NEVER get drunk on Baileys and red wine.
Plus I've been lazy, been drinking a lot of wine and a couple pounds have crept back on. I need to slow that shit way down and step up to the plate. I'm more than a little disappointed in my lack of willpower right now. But I think I'm going to switch to Crossfit Solano - one of my coworkers may join me, too - another sinner brought into the fold!

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

12.16.2010

2010-12-16T14:21:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Flonase

Breakfast: coffee, Larabar
Lunch: 6 oz tri-tip, 6 oz greens w turkey (omg YUM), 4 oz green beans
Snack: 6 oz salad
Dinner:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

12.15.2010

2010-12-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Flonase

WOD:
Shopping for time, followed by 7:00 @ CDC
Run 1 mile, then 3 rounds:
20 Squats
20 Sit-ups (weighted feet)
20 semi-Jumping pull-ups (much improvement!)
20 Push-Ups

Breakfast: coffee, Larabar
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 2 c spinach
Snack: ice cream and cake FAIL. And I felt horrible after I ate this: right away I was queasy, and felt unsettled and gross all afternoon. It did not help my workout, either. I feel like shit and I performed like shit.
Dinner: Paleo spinach soup

Still no period. Breasts very tender, I'm irritable, oily and sweaty. I feel grungy. That's hormonal, I'm sure. Seriously, wtf? Is this menopause? Is this five years from menopause? WHAT?
I would seriously be losing my shit if it weren't for the fact that the rest of my life is going really well.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

12.9.2010

2010-12-09T14:57:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Flonase

WOD:
6:00 @ CDC (Casa De Carpark) after I stop and buy a pull-up bar*
3 rounds:
50 Squats (I did 20. My knees can't take 3x50 squats...yet)
40 Sit-ups (weighted feet)
30 Jumping pull-ups
20 bent-knee Push-Ups
Time = 28-something minutes. (sc as above)
Felt like throwing up for a while after this.

*I need to work on pull-ups anyway - having a pull-up bar at home seems like a great idea. ($20 at WallyWorld ftw!)
I don't need to drive to Oakland to do this WOD.

Breakfast: coffee, TJs nut fruit omega trailmix
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c broccoli, 2 c romaine
Snack: 1 oz MEAT
Pre-WOD Snack: Lara bar

I'm going to buy a roast and throw it in the oven tonight. MEAT!

Also, where is my gd period? I'm late, wtf. I am not cool with this at all.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

12.8.2010

2010-12-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Flonase

WOD: Walked a mile at break

Breakfast: coffee, TJs nut/fruit omega trailmix
Lunch: 2 c romaine, 2 c broccoli, 4 oz sardines
Snack: coffee, apple
Dinner: 4 oz chicken, 2 c sauteed (in ghee!) kale. Yum.
Snack: attempted coconut banana egg Paleo pancake. Tasted good but the texture was iffy.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

12.7.2010 .. a day that will live in infamy

2010-12-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), Flonase

WOD: Walked a mile at break
6:15 @ GWPC I <3 deadlifts
Run 800 Meters @ minute 0:00
Tabata Deadlift 115 @ minute 5:00
Run 800 meters @ minute 9:00
Tabata push-up @ minute 14:00

I have no idea how to score this correctly, but I did 20 deadlifts @ 115 and 24 push ups. I only ran 400 meters between dls and pushups.
I am going to have sore triceps and my piriformis/butt/low back is kinda hurty.

Breakfast: coffee, apple, boiled egg
Lunch: 6 oz chicken, 1 zucchini, 1/2 c tomato
Snack: coffee, apple
Pre-WOD Snack: 2oz TJs fruit/nut trailmix
Post WOD: Mini Lara bar, coconut milk

Ok, I totally lost my shit yesterday and ate donuts. Plural. And it made me feel awful. Not going to beat myself up. Just going to get back on the stone-wheeled Paleolithic wagon.
Also: how much wine is it OK to drink on a regular basis?

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg), Flonase

12.2.2010

2010-12-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: Walked a mile at break
6:15 @ GWPC
3 Rounds:
Run 400 Meters
21 Deadlift 135/95
12 Jumping C2B Pull-Ups

Yay! I <3 deadlifts. Even though I am pretty sore all over from Tuesday, I'm actually looking forward to tonight's WOD. It's good to be back.

I'm SO not in the mood to be at work today. Plus I feel like eating pretty much everything. We will not discuss what went down yesterday with regard to eating. Suffice it say I failed miserably at Paleo during the afternoon Member Services Hootenanny. There was german chocolate cake. With coconut pecan frosting.
Today I've been good. I should stop at TJs on my way home tonight and get snack packs, apples, broccoli and broccoli.

*sigh* I REALLY want to be in the Netherlands right now. My guy is sick and needs TLC. I was in the craft store last night and they were playing some whiney "Waaaaa, Christmas isn't Christmas without you" type song and I got all sad that I won't see him at Christmastime... Thanks for stopping by, PMS!

Breakfast: coffee
Lunch: 2 c spinach, 1 c shrooms, 5 oz tuna
Snack: Apple

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.30.2010

2010-11-30T11:06:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

I'm in a pissy mood.... PMS

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC
20 Box jump, 24/30"
20 C2B pull-ups
20 Kettlebell swings, 2.0/1.5P
Walking Lunge, 20 steps, 45/25 plate locked out overhead
20 Toes to Bar
20 Push press, 135/95 pounds
50 Back extensions
20 Wall ball shots, 20/14 pound ball, 12 ft target
20 Burpees to 12"/8" target
20 Triple-unders
Oooo... this looks very much like it will kick my ass. Bring it on, bitches.

Ok, DNF as in Dirty Nasty Fail.
Scaled damn near everything, did not even attempt triple-unders (no one did these, incidentally)
But it felt better than I figured it would and I could breathe

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack: apple, tiny banana
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c spinach, 2 c broccoli, 1 c shrooms
Snack: 1 little square dark chocolate. I'm craving hot chocolate...
Dinner: nuts, cranberries, seeds, macadamia nuts, half a turkey patty and grapes
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.29.2010

2010-11-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

Weight: 178 (yeah, I gained a pound over the Holiday. Considering it was Thanksgiving and I basically did no exercise, this isn't bad)
I ate pretty much Paleo the entire time - though I did cheat and have pie, and a leftover turkey sandwich on bread with cheese. Oh cheese, how I have missed you...
I'm feeling great, and I'm ridiculously happy. My boyfriend is über-wonderful, sweet and I'm crazy about him. It feels very right. My Mom likes him (we spent Thanksgiving morning doing kitchen-to-kitchen live cam cooking - it was such a blast!)
My only problem is - I'm not sure I can wait a year to see him.

Seriously, how cute is this man?

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack: apple
Lunch: 2 c spinach, 2 c broccoli, 1 c shrooms, 5 oz tuna
Snack: chocolate coconut almond Thing. IT'S PMS WEEK. GAHHHHH!
Dinner: 1 turkey patty, 1 c broccoli
Snack: 1 glass red wine

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.19-20-21.2010

2010-11-21T14:27:00.001-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)
Trying a day without cold meds... we'll see how it goes

Weight: 177 and holding

WOD: Not a lot, some walking. Still wheezy and coughing some. Have decided to forgo gym until I return from Oregon, but I do need to hit it and hit it some more.
Completely went off diet Friday for the big PAG Meeting, but essentially have been eating very Paleo.

Friday 11-19
Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch: ham and cheese crepe, salad, fig pastry w white chocolate
Snack: nonfat latte, peppermint mocha
Dinner: Paleo soup
Snack: wine

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.16.2010

2010-11-16T11:16:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)
Trying a day without cold meds... we'll see how it goes

Weight: 177

WOD: Walk/Run 2 miles; shrinking for time. Still wheezy; still coughing, esp at night.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack: 10 M&Ms
Lunch: sardines, salad, broccoli
Snack: lettuce wrapped roast beef, 1 oz
Dinner: roast beef, salad
Snack: almonds

You know you're jonesing for sugar when a cough lozenge starts looking like a tasty treat.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.15.2010

2010-11-15T14:18:00.000-08:00

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

11.15.2010

2010-11-15T13:05:00.000-08:00

11.14.2010

2010-11-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)
Mucinex, dextromothorphan (sp?), advil, tessalon, and albuterol inhaler as needed

Weight: 179. I'm still shrinking. The lack of available unhealthy snacks and milk in the house is paying off huge. I just don't do the late-evening grazing thing anymore, possibly also because I'm busy long-distance romancing.

WOD: Run, 2 miles .... not MY idea: I spent half the night up coughing. But Marc and Ynez are both going to harass me if I don't get back to it - and the cough seems to only really get me at night.
And yeah, it SUCKED - I wheezed and had to slow down and walk through at least half this.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch:(late breakfast, really) buffalo patty, apples
Snack:
Dinner: wine, Paleo soup
Snack: almond

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.12.2010

2010-11-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)
Mucinex, dextromothorphan (sp?), advil, tessalon, and albuterol inhaler as needed

Still coughing and wheezing, this SUCKS! Feel like I may drown in phlegm. It's clearer and thinner, though. I'm also getting a cold sore and cramps. I wish Aunt Flo would just die already. Fucking bitch.

Due to his frequent awesomeness, my Vegas fling has been upgraded to boyfriend status, and has promised to be waiting for me at the finish line of the City Pier City Half Marathon in the Hague, Netherlands in March... of 2012.
Seriously, we probably won't see each other for a year. Thank god for Prozac.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch: 1 c. paleo soup, 2 c broccoli
Snack:
Dinner: Paleo soup, trail mix
Snack: wine. lots of wine.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.11.2010

2010-11-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

11.9.2010

2010-11-09T10:37:00.000-08:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

WOD: Home sick from work: low-grade fever, horrible cough, wheezing. I have an appointment w my Doctor this morning. The thing is .. I don't feel that bad, though I am bloody tired from no sleep.
Weight: 181 on doctors' scale. Got albuterol inhaler and cough suppressants pills - and a 3-day excuse from work so I can rest.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch:Pho (broth with pork, shrimp, veggies - no noodles)
Snack:
Dinner:
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.8.2010

2010-11-08T16:37:00.000-08:00

Weight 183 via Blackberry

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

WOD: Irritated at Dutch dude; Ran 2 miles despite The Cough From Hell

And can I just say ... 183! This is crazy amounts of cool.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch: 4 oz tuna, 2 c greens, 1 c broccoli
Snack: 1 fun size milky way
Dinner:
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.6.2010

2010-11-06T23:19:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

WOD: Ran 2 miles in the PM. Felt good. Cold is subsiding, may go Xfit tomorrow.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch: Paleo soup
Snack: walnuts
Dinner: 6 oz hamburger patty w lettuce, onion
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.something.10

2010-11-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

WOD: Nothing. Came home early from work; sick with a cold and a fever. Stupid planes.
The good news is:
I started taking the Natural Calm - it seems to be working, and it tastes kinda nice.
I weigh 185 - even after the debauchery in Sin City. I did eat ok and did a lot of walking and hiking. Maybe snogging burns calories.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch: Paleo soup
Snack: walnuts
Dinner: chicken breast, berries
Snack: Paleo

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg), magnesium citrate (200mg)

11.2.2010

2010-11-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: Nothing today. Letting my liver recover from the damage I inflicted on it in Vegas over the weekend. And while I did eat mostly Paleo, there was a 3am visit to McDonald's (I KNOW) for a fish sandwich and an apple pie. It was delicious, but that was probably the tequila talking. Tequila did a lot of talking this weekend, including telling my manly Dutch friend something along the lines of "I'd really like to kiss you."
His reply was quite positive, by the way: we made out like teenagers and had a few very snuggly sleepovers.

Breakfast: black coffee
Snack:
Lunch: spinach, bell peppers, chicken
Snack:
Dinner:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.27.2010

2010-11-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC
15-12-9 Deadlift 275/185
42-30-18 Push-Up
scaled this, did 105# deadlifts
Arms were sore as hell 2 days later

Breakfast: black coffee, 2 eggbeaters, 2 Tbsp almonds
Snack:
Lunch: greens, broccoli, chicken
Snack:
Dinner: steak, kale

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.25.2010

2010-10-25T15:08:00.001-07:00

Ate 90% Paleo all weekend, did not go to Xfit since my back was hurting and I had stuff to do around the house.
Repeated bloodwork Sunday (Kaiser Lab open Sunday = win) and my AST (liver enzyme) turned out to be a non-issue - probably a by-product of having alcohol the week before - I blame the Irish Bank.
Rain has started, therefore allergy season is (hopefully) over and I'm stopping the Claritin/Zyrtec cycle until further notice. Haven't noticed The Smell very often lately - just an occasional whiff.

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC? Not sure about this....my back is still pretty sore and today is Power Cleans. I have work to do at home before my trip, too.

Breakfast: black coffee, 2 eggbeaters, 2 Tbsp almonds
Snack:
Lunch: chicken spinach salad
Snack: 3 Rollo choccyaramels. Seriously - I have to have a totally indulgent bad thing ONCE in awhile. I'm pretty happy to be going to Vegas over Halloween, though - no candy to buy!
Dinner:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.22.2010

2010-10-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: stretching. My lower back is stiff and sore today. Not like I hurt it, but like I worked it. The backs of my legs are also stiff and sore: getting up and down the stairs has been interesting today.

Breakfast: black coffee, 2 eggbeaters, 2 c broccoli
Snack:
Lunch: Thai green curry chicken w steamed veggies
Snack: pumpkin seeds
Dinner: 4 oz chicken, 2 c kale, sauteed

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.21.2010

2010-10-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC
3 Rounds
30 Kettlebell Swings 1.5/1.0
7 Muscle-Ups*
10 Deadlift 275/205

Scaled: Subbed pullup attempts & push-ups for the muscle-ups (which I think only Andre and Elaine actually RXed) and deadlifted 135#

Breakfast: black coffee, 2 eggbeaters, 2 c kale
Snack: 1 c fruit
Lunch: 5 oz tuna, 2 c greens, 1 c broccoli
Snack:
Dinner: 1/2 c turkey chili

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.18.2010

2010-10-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is breakfast...nom nom nom
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD:

Breakfast: black coffee, 2 eggbeaters, 1 c broccoli; 1 c grapes
Snack:
Lunch: 4 oz salmon, 2 c greens, 1 apple
Snack:
Dinner:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

Ate 90% Paleo all weekend. (I have some yogurt and cottage cheese to get rid of... and I went to a party Saturday night - though I actually ate mostly just plain vegetables, I did have a small pastry and some nuts.)
I feel great and I swear, my skin looks better.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I put on my "skinny" jacket last night; the DKNY one that I was so stoked to fit into last winter? It's decidedly not snug. At all. So yeah... I'm shrinking.

10.14.2010

2010-10-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC
21-15-9
Deadlift 275/185
C2B Pull-Up/Pull-Up
That's a lot of weight for deadlifts. I think I might try them at ... less.
Result: 7-something minutes, scaled
85# deadlifts
Jumping pull-up
I should have gone for more weight. Jess RXed that thing in 13:something. She's badass.

Breakfast: 3 eggs (1 yolk only), 2 c kale sauteed; ginormous latte w last of milk
Snack: apple
Lunch: 4 oz chicken breast, 2 c greens, 1 c shrooms, 1 c broccoli
Snack: 1 bite of fudgey cake. 1/2 c apple juice. 6 strawberries and 6 huge-ass green grapes. Seriously, these things were the size of kiwi fruit.
Dinner: 2 c red chard and dandelion greens, 2 hardboiled eggs. SOmething gave me a wicked sore throat - I suspect the chard: it's high in calcium oxalate.
Snack:

GrisGris is stealing dandelion greens and eating them. He also regularly eats wheatgrass. Paleo cat? I have tried a couple of times to get him to eat raw chicken. He wasn't buying it, but I am interested in getting him off grains: I mean... he's a cat. Why am I feeding him shit with corn in it?

Bought a half dozen organic, cage free brown eggs to taste-test alongside the cheap eggs. I cannot tell the difference, but I want to try eggs from real chickens that run around like wild things and eat bugs.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.13.2010

2010-10-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: moving my department across the hall :-<
This was quite an ordeal, as I had to move not only my stuff, but all the other stuff I keep around so my coworkers can do their jobs. The very sunny Rasta guy from HR helped me finish it all up, which was awesome.

Breakfast: 3 eggs (1 yolk only), 2 c kale sauteed w a little ghee; ginormous latte w less milk and *no sweetener
Snack:
Lunch: 4 oz chicken breast, 2 c greens, 1 c shrooms, 1 c broccoli
Snack: apple
Dinner: 1 c Paleo Soup
Snack: 1 Tbsp almond butter, 2 oz milk

I went to sleep early last night with intentions of getting 7.5 hours of sleep. Unfortunately I was wide-eyed as a marigold at 6:20 - and hungry. So I made a Paleo-friendly brekky.
I always forget how much I like kale. Gonna have to try making kale chips for a crunchy snack.
Though I did have a latte, I cut down on the milk used, and didn't add my usual heaps of Xylitol sweetener. I'm going to start phasing some stuff out of my regular rotation: the Xylitol, and dairy and milk. This makes me very sad, by the way. But if it helps me feel better and lose weight, I need to do it. I also need to be mindful of portions, especially of yummy high-fat stuff like nuts. Maybe dairy can be an occasional treat, in moderation.
Should I be concerned about calcium? Hrm... ok a quick bit of research shows dark green leafy vegetables are high in calcium. Hello, kale, collard, mustard, chard, and cabbage. Mmmm, cabbage - I love to slice some noodle-thin, sautee it and serve it up with pesto. Yummeeeeeeeeeeee!

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.12.2010

2010-10-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC
After failing to complete the beginner WOD of 4 rounds of 40 box jumps, 30 double-unders and run 400meters, (I managed 2 rounds w/o any double-unders)
I did the Advanced WOD
2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2 Deadlift @ 115
Then I worked my Deadlift 1RM up to 205# (20# higher then my previous) and did a 10-minute squat MWOD with Y that hurt and felt really good - sometimes at the same time. At one point my feet were searing with a white-hot pain that at the same time felt like the best stretch they've ever had (which may well be true).

Breakfast: 1/2 c oatmeal w 2 Tbsp walnuts
Snack:
Lunch: 3 oz chicken, 2 c greens, 1 c broccoli, 1 c shrooms
Snack: 1 small bite cake, 1 large bite ice cream
Dinner: post WOD 2 eggs, 1 apple
Snack:

Todays foodage was quite an improvement from yesterday. Yesterday, I had my salad lunch, and I made a vat o' Paleo Soup (which has become one of my favorite things) for dinner. HOWEVER ... there were also doughnuts - two of them. And there were big, chewy, gingery molasses cookies. God.
I'm apparently going to participate in the Paleo Challenge in November. No grains, no dairy, no sugar and no legumes. Actually I will probably start trying it now, as I run out of milk, cheese, and yogurt. *sigh* It makes me sad; I love me some dairy. But - I need to cut all those yummy calories if I'm going to lose weight. Plus I get to never eat oatmeal, which I will NOT miss - that shit (unsweetened) tastes worse than library paste. And, as a former connoisseur of library paste, I would know.

It all boils down to discipline, something which I have been sorely lacking. That shit needs to stop. I need to be my own friend, and stop feeding me bad things. I need to take the wheel and steer this bitch.

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine, glucoasamine (1500mg)w chondroitin (1200mg)

10.09.2010

2010-10-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD: Cleaning, laundry, taking apart my bed. Shopping for time.

Breakfast: ginormous latte
Snack:
Lunch: chicken cauliflower Paleo Soup
Snack: ginormous decaf latte
Dinner:
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine

10.08.2010

2010-10-09T16:24:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD: 6:15@GWPC
50KB Swings (.75P)
Run 1 mile
50KB Swings (.75P)
Max said my form was "Textbook.... perfect!" and "That's not enough weight for you!"
I got pretty winded, and I'm not sure I could do 100 swings at one Pood ... but I'll get there.

Breakfast: coffee, 1/2 c oatmeal w 2 oz walnuts
Snack:
Lunch: 3 oz chicken, 2 c greens, 1 c cauliflower
Snack: apple
Dinner: 2 pieces leftover veggie pizza.
Snack: ZZzzzzzzzzzz

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine

10.07.2010

2010-10-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD: 6pm Hike, 3 miles, Point Pinole
My thighs and arms/shoulders are indeed sore today.

Breakfast: coffee, 1/2 c oatmeal w 2 oz walnuts
Snack:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner:
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine

10.06.2010

2010-10-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 600mg gemfibrozil, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD: Spent morning running errands, got flu shot, had labwork, got oil changed.
PM: Detailed my car.
Got test results and my triglycerides, which at one point were over 650mg/dl, are now a very healthy 125 (normal range is under 200). Everything else is well within normal range, although my "calculated" LDL is a wee bit towards the moderately high side. My good cholesterol is way up and my triglycerides are well below the danger zone.
I CAN STOP TAKING MEDS FOR CHOLESTEROL. I'm so freaking glad. I'm not opposed to taking advantage of the benefits of medical breakthroughs - but I do NOT want to be one of those people who pop a pill for everything.
But clearly, though exercise and adding more healthy eating habits (and I acknowledge that I still have far to go with this) I can be healthier and live longer. (Well DUH...)
I suppose I have Crossfit to blame for this. And Ynez.
So - thanks! From the bottom of my (healthier) heart!
I am going to be really sore tomorrow. Thankfully all I have planned is a hike out Point Pinole with work buds.

Breakfast: Nothing - had to complete fasting bloodwork
Snack: latte, sausage muffin with egg, cheese
Lunch: 1/2 c oatmeal with walnuts
Snack: hot chocolate
Dinner: 1 c turkey chili sauteed w achiote and 1 c cabbage (Yeah, I don't know either.. but it was delicious)
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 25-50mg diphenhydramine

That's right, bitches. No more Gemfibrozil.

10.05.2010

2010-10-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 600mg gemfibrozil, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Zyrtec or Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD: WOD 100105
A: Work up to a 1RM in the press in 20 minutes
60#
B: Run 200 meters
5 rounds:
10 Wall-Ball RX20/14
10 Push-Press RX115/75
Run 200 meters.
Time: 14:05
Did not Rx this, I used an 8lb ball and 45# on the push press. It was pretty intense, an I'm probably going to be sore.

Breakfast: coffee
Snack: pie
Lunch: 1/2 c cottage cheese, 2 c veggies (raw)
Snack: 1/2 c curry chicken
Dinner: 32oz milk, 3 oz sardines :)
Snack:

PM Supplements/meds: 600mg gemfibrozil, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 50mg diphenhydramine

10.04.2010 Meine arme brennen

2010-10-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

Seriously, my arms still hurt from Friday's WOD

10.03.2010

2010-10-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

7am - OH HELL NO. Arms - specifically, triceps - are supremely sore to the point where they keep spasming and waking me up. I'm taking some Aleve and plenty of water and going the hell back to bed.
LAter on I'm hanging out with my friend Nicholas, who is visiting from Ottowa. He wants to do some more sightseeing in San Franscisco. I'm thinking Chinatown and North Beach, maybe The Irish Bank.

10.02.2010

2010-10-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 600mg gemfibrozil, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD:
Spent the day hanging out with my parents, then danced my ass off at my cousin Kim's wedding. And seriously, big props to the new Mr. and Mrs. Sweetman: their wedding was fun for everyone, especially for them. They did it up so right.

Breakfast: coffee
Snack: 1 protein bar
Lunch: Dinucci's: minestrone soup, BBQ oysters & steamed vegetables, 2 slices sourdough bread w butter
Dinner: 6 oz chicken breast, 1 c squash, 1 roll w butter
Snack: 1 wedding cupcake

PM Supplements/meds: 600mg gemfibrozil, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 50mg diphenhydramine

I'm really sore from yesterday's pullups, pushups, snatch, clean & jerks. ANd because I tend to be worse on the second day, this does not bode well for tomorrow. I predict pain...

10.01.2010

2010-10-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 600mg gemfibrozil, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD:
A: 21-15-9
Pull-up
Push-Up

B: Olympic Total:
Best of 3 Attempts Snatch
Best of 3 Attempts Clean & Jerk

Breakfast: coffee
Snack: 1 apple
Lunch: 2 slices pizza
Snack: chocolate chip cookie
Dinner: Post-WOD 1/2 c cottage cheese, 1 c broccoli

PM Supplements/meds: 600mg gemfibrozil, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 50mg diphenhydramine

09.29.2010 Back in the Saddle

2010-09-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

Allright, I'm going back to the gym. I have had a horrible headache all week, still ridiculously busy at work, The Smell is back, and it's been hellaciously hot. Excuses excuses bla bla bla. I know.
Camping was fun, we were invaded by young raccoons who returned later with the whole family of furry bandits, broke into the ice chest and ate everything: eggs, sausage, cheese, an avocado, grapes and an entire package of Reeses cups (better them than me).

AM Supplements/meds: 20mg fluoxetine, 600mg gemfibrozil, 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 10mg Claritin, 81mg aspirin

WOD: 6:15 @ GWPC
Run 800 meters @ minute 0:00
Max Rounds
3 C2B Pull-Up/pull-up
3 Clap Push-up/push-up
Run 800 Meters @ minute 10:00
Max Rep G2S 155/105
Run 800 Meters @ minute 18:00
Max Rep Burpees
24 minute limit
7 rounds jumping pullups/pushups, 16 G2S@45#, 1 Burpee, 52 seconds over
This WOD was fun! We also did an awesome Mobility WOD afterwards: Calf stretch against the wall, 2 minutes per position, 2 positions each leg = 8 minutes total.

Breakfast: 1/2 c oatmeal + 1 Tbsp walnuts
Snack: Claritin not cutting it: took a Zyrtec and 2 motrin
Lunch: 2 c greens, 1 c broccoli/cauliflower/carrot mix
Snack: Sun chips, 1 oz lowfat cheese
Dinner: post-WOD 1 c milk, 1 c greens
Snacks: 1/2 c berries w 1/2 c milk

PM Supplements/meds: 600mg gemfibrozil, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 50mg diphenhydramine