10.11.2010

AM Supplements/meds: 1 multivatamin, 2 fish/flax/borage oil caps, 81mg aspirin, 10mg Claritin, 50mg Sertraline hydrochloride (Zoloft), 25mg Lamotrigine

WOD:
4 rounds of
Run 400 meters
21 G2O @33#
For time
25:30

Breakfast: green monster
Snack:
Lunch: turkey sandwich on asiago ciabatta and a shortbread cookie(Panera Bread came to demo their catering for us)
Snack: plantain chips
Dinner: scrambled eggs w pesto
Snack: corn flakes w soymilk
No, I am not being Paleo. I am avoiding a lot of gluten, especially refined wheat flour. Except for today's Panera THING.

PM Supplements/meds: 37mg Doxylamine Succinate, 50mg Trazodone

What's on my mind:
I feel really puffy, although the scale says I haven't gained weight: probably I have replaced some muscle mass with fat. *sigh* Time to stop acting like a pathetic loser.
It's been a couple or three weeks, I know - I've been a total pussy. I was going through some bullshit with my meds - they needed to up my dose of Zoloft due to anxiety and it gave me serious diarrhea.
I had a consult with a psyciatrist who put me on Lamotrigine (used off-label to treat bipolar disorder) and Trazodone (to help me sleep).
Yes, you read right. Bipolar. Not 100% sure about it, and neither is the Dr. but there are definite tendencies and straight antidepressants tend to make the anxiety worse in people with bipolar disorder.
Anyway I'm feeling more stable, happy, and I can relax my sphincter now, which is truly a relief. And I went back to DRG tonight which felt really wonderful.
I'm finally getting a grip on my negativity which had been getting pretty bad.
I was pissed at Marc a couple weekends ago and so I'd been huffily avoiding him online and going out a lot more, doing stuff, and guess what?! Instead of missing him and being all emo and lonely, I had a good time. DUH! The realization that OH, I CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME WITHOUT MY BOYFRIEND (WHY do I consistently need to be hit over the head with this knowledge??? Lame!) made me feel just a whole lot better.
OH and in Big News: I booked my flight today: I'm going to Den Haag for New Years!!! Marc is excited and happy and already planning a big NYE bash.

What's on my iPod:
Rammstein vs Cornholio